Baby steps out of bed

It took me about six months to gain enough confidence (and fight off a million fears in my head) to walk about a quarter of a kilometre outside my house, to a nearby grocery store. Before this major feat, I had only gone to the one opposite my place, a handful time in all these months. My online purchases have gone up, multi-folds.

Prior to the pandemic wreaking havoc for the world over, I was someone who travelled at least four hours to and fro office. There was a considerable amount of walking. The work from home and lockdown scenarios have rendered me into someone who lives in the periphery of a bed. I am now trying to change that, to a certain degree. 

Leisurely walks, about an hour or two every week are slowly becoming my baby steps out of bed. On one hand, I am glad about the progress. On the other, I don’t quite like the world outside the brick walls I have grown accustomed to. I hate the weird heaviness in the air I can feel so prominently around me. And, how it stems from suspicion, fear and an emptiness in my heart.

Partly because I am still trying hard to get used to having a mask on my face and how it changes the way I breathe and partly because I have lost all my stamina, I have become extremely slow at walking. I can go for about half an hour and have to then wait a while to be able to get my breathing in place to walk ahead. Empty bus stops are my respite.

When for the general good, health and safety, I am someone who likes precautions and rules. Hence, I have easily embraced masks as essential. Doesn’t mean I have to like them! I hate the stuffy feeling that comes with wearing a mask. However, it’s funny how I also like the anonymity a mask can help you get. I like the idea of walking about without bumping into a familiar face I don’t wish to talk to. It’s liberating to have this choice without being rude. Six months of practical isolation and this is still true!

So that’s that about me. Are you trying to walk again, too? Good luck with your baby steps!

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