Answering it all

What does it really means to work and study simultaneously?

At first, it seems surreal, because everyone seems to be thrilled with the idea, fuelling your aspirations with energy. Then, things start to go south and pretty much everyone starts expressing their right be annoyed at your preferences and priorities. The closest ones start to get frustrated with your timings and the ones in the outermost circle start feeling too overwhelmed with your superpowers. So, it would be safe to say that it sucks to the core. How do I know? I have been doing this for the last one year. To be fair, it isn’t because of financial constraints — it was more like trying to be an employable graduate kind of a scenario.

Yes, I do love the feeling of being a little achiever in my own, little world, but since the blog is about the process, that’s not the focal point. This is more like a plea from my side for you to really think through if you are planning to go this path, someday. Or don’t think at all. Like I did. I just went with the flow. Got an internship, took a few extensions and before I knew it, I wasn’t an intern anymore and a year had passed.

A few things you should keep in mind if you are planning to do something like this. Be prepared to work through red, sleep deprived eyes and don’t let anyone tell you it’s going to be tough. Just accept it already. Be scared, it is better than being over confident and loosing out on the things worth holding on to. Try to make the most of the little happy moments that come your way, because for the most part, they are all you will get. Because, working for most part of the hours you spend awake or at least thinking about the pending work will make it impossible for you to feel deep emotions for anything.

Jumping with joy or crying out loud becomes difficult — why? Because you just have to jump on to the next task! I have topped in an exam and have gone straight to office for completing my stories for the week. I have received a rejection email in between two interview calls. I have gotten a gold medal and yet gone home a little disappointed because I couldn’t complete my work that week. It happens. When you have a thousand things in your mind, you can’t feel too much for all, sometimes, for none. No, you are not emotionless, you are simply too preoccupied.

For the most part, especially in the last semester of my college with all different kinds of assignments happening at once, my brain worked like a web browser with a thousand tabs open at the same time. I have been to some of the most deprived places in the morning and come back to my air-conditioned office to write about makeup products amounting to thousands. Sometimes, it was just too much for my little brain. And of course, there were times when I slept enough, only after being awake for two days straight.

I guess the worst part of it all is the fact that you simply don’t feel enough or that you are good at anything. It just kills you in parts because you miss out on way too much. And on days, when you genuinely have a little time to breathe, you just feel useless because you are used to working your way through all the time. And don’t even get me started on how much I suck at deadlines.

But, it’s fine. Why? Because I survived it all and I feel much stronger than ever before. And that is perhaps the only reason I would tell you all to give it all for your dreams. If you believe in yourself enough, it will all go fine. It will all be worth it after a while. Also, make sure you are surrounded by people who genuinely care for you. I had the most supportive set of family, friends and co-workers to help me through it all. The most important part is to keep fighting and never give up.

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